Gaining some perspective.....

I've been doing A LOT of thinking these past few months. And by a lot I mean a bucket load.

I had a very serious health scare in June..I spent a few days in hospital that culminated with needing emergency surgery and blood transfusions. And I dont know ....being faced with your own mortality {and no I'm not being dramatic} puts a new perspective on things.

Lying in the ER, drifting in and out of conciousness I did not make bargains to "be a better mum, friend, person..." that cliche that you hear so often in the movies...I remember being told "your dying love....we need to operate right away to save your life" and my thoughts were "oh"..not that I've ever thought how this should be, but I kind of expected there to be some truth in THAT cliche..you know where your life runs before your eyes, where you bargain with God and whomever will listen for more time...

But not me..all I could come up with {at that point} was "oh". I remember thinking later "I'm not ready yet". All I could think was I havent seen my babies grow up. My youngest isnt even 3 yet....

suffice to say..apparently I wasnt ready to go.

SO I've been thinking. I have this blog, which I created as part of a challenge many moons ago. I rarely vist scrapping forums anymore. I find all the status updates on facebook tend to be repeated on the forums. I've taken to visitng a few other blogs which I love. Some women write so beautifully. A part of me thinks "I want me some of that". But truth be told I'm busy enough as it is. I have 5 young girls and work part time. I also work as a freelance consultant 3 days per month. Add the mystery shopping I do into the mix and I just dont have time for another business? And when you think about it blogging at the larger scale {I'm talking sponsors and all that jazz} really is a business.

Then my insecurity set in. What if I blog and no one likes it. What if no one wants to read it. But, you know..now I have some perspective I'm OK with that too. I am after all writing this blog for me. Kind of an online diary.

So if anyone is reading it {thankyou}.

I would love to set myself a goal to blog weekly. But I'm not. I'm going to set myself a goal to blog. Thats it. Just blog. And technically if it takes me another 6 months then I havent let myself down :P

On a different note I have been scraping lately and my next post I'll share :)

Keep smiling

Kerry xx